“te juro es dengue”

Have you had one of those experiences where you weren't sure how things were going to turn out? If you were ever going to make it through?

A pesky little mosquito bit me in Mexico and about 5 days later in Guatemala, my personal retreat time took a turn.

Not trying to be dramatic or exaggerate, but it truly was very scary and felt like there was no end in sight at times.

Let's back up. I knew that I was in a dengue area in Mexico. So I did my best to avoid bites with spray, incense, long clothing (even though it was hot hot hot), making regular exceptions to my practice of ahimsa (non-harming...) but with so many mosquitos around, it really was just unavoidable. I remember one bite in particular and thought to myself, that one had dengue. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't, but at some point one of them did and that's how it got me. 

So, I had booked myself a one week personal retreat in Guatemala to check out a retreat centre I've had an eye on for future retreats (update: It’s happening! Join me there March 1-8, 2025). The market research really is my favourite part of retreat planning!

I enjoyed two bliss-filled days at Villa Sumaya before I started feeling a little off. At first I just thought it was my body fully surrendering in since resting isn't particularly a strong-suit of mine, but the next morning it was clear that I was actually sick.

Here are some of my bliss filled moments during my first two days on the lake

48 hours of sleeping except for waking up for meals (which I couldn't eat anyways) and the chef who had been delivering homemade soup to my room said to me, "Te juro, es dengue" (I swear to you, it's dengue).

I guess I was still trying to believe that maybe it wasn't. Maybe I was just really really tired (and feverish and weak).

But when Walter, the very jovial chef who could often be found belting out a tune from the kitchen at 7:00 AM (even though quiet hours lasted until 9:00 ... no one seemed bothered), said that to me, it seemed a lot more real.

Trying to stay positive … This was when I still felt well enough to sit outside & enjoy the view while trying to eat.

Sitting in bed staring at yet another bowl of soup that I couldn't eat, Walter came back and told me we're going to the hospital. Keep in mind, this isn't all that simple when you're on the lake and the public boats have already stopped running for the night (and it's rainy season and a full storm is happening, as it does every day after 4:00 PM like clockwork). However, the team went into action and within 20 minutes I had an overnight bag packed (in case we couldn't come back) and away we went.

Walter came on the boat with me, even though I told him he didn’t have to. It was only a 10 minute ride and Alberto (another staff member, who I *just* discovered speaks perfect English) would be waiting at the dock to drive me to the hospital. Having these two caring for me felt like the same level of care I would have received if my own parents were there. From every, "Wrap the blanket around yourself more tightly!" to not having to open or close a single car door to having an umbrella held over me for the few raindrops that continued sprinkling down, I felt so lucky to be in their care.

Wrapped up tight for a very choppy boat ride to the town. Focusing on steady breathing and mantras.

So Alberto ushers us into his car and off we go to the hospital. We zip up and park right in front of the parked ambulance, blocking it in. Couldn't help but have a little giggle about how different things are from Canada.

Things continued to be different ... I won't go into detail here for any squeamish readers, but the way my blood was taken might as well have been something out of a horror movie. Nonetheless, it did the trick and the (English speaking) doctor confirmed within 30 minutes that yes, I have dengue. The doctor described some pretty intense symptoms that could come and told me to come back immediately if I experienced any of them. She gave me a prescription for paracetemol and off my care team and I went to the pharmacy. I was pleased that it was still open after 9:00 PM.

Walter and Alberto were able to send me back to the hotel on a private boat. In retrospect, it would have been smarter to stay at a hotel near the hospital, but that's okay. We all did the best we could in the moment.

Dengue day three(ish). First trip to the hospital.

The next morning, I was pleased to wake up (full stop). I had an amazing view of Lake Atitlan from my bed and was even able to enjoy it for a few moments before realizing (again) how awful I felt. It seemed to be getting worse and I was feeling more scared, being there all alone. I sent a copy of my blood results to a friend in Peru who's one of those friends who you can go to for literally anything and she always knows what to do. She sent it along to her doctor friend who told me to go back to the hospital.

I was so exhausted and didn't feel like I could straight away so I had a rest first before telling my hotel I needed to go back. Esmeralda from reception brought my soup up for lunch along with a thermometer. Well, at 104 she insisted we go back, now.

So again, the team went into action. I packed an overnight bag, preparing for a longer stay this time and within 20 minutes was slowly making my way down the steps to reception where I heard Walter on the phone saying, "me voy me voy!" (I'm going!)

He insisted on accompanying me (which I fully accepted this time) and even though the public boats were still running, we took a private boat for my comfort (I was in pretty bad shape by this point ... a public boat even came to the dock offering to pick us up, and everyone on the boat looked scared seeing me). In this moment I just remember thinking, *Everyone I know who has had dengue said it felt like they were dying. But then they didn't, neither will I*. I knew I had to keep a positive mind as much as possible.

At the hospital, Walter told me I needed to tell the doctor I want to stay the night there. I was a bit nervous about this but knew he was right, I needed an IV and a close eye.

It was easier than I expected though. Once the doctor saw me and heard about my symptoms, she was the one to say, "I think you need to stay here tonight."

Big exhale to be in the hospital - they brought me a papaya smoothie, apparently that’s the local remedy.

I did feel a sense of relief hearing these words. I knew that I would have people to help and would get the care I needed. I was also glad that Walter would be able to go home, after spending so much extra time taking care of me.

I was admitted quickly and seemed to have a full team looking after me. (At 31 years old, it was my first time in the hospital - I feel very blessed). With that being the case, I didn't really know what was normal and what wasn't. The nurses came in about every 10 minutes to check my blood pressure ... I now know that's because it was very low and they were concerned - I’m glad they kept such a close eye.

I was released the next day. They told me it would be at noon but it actually happened around 4:00 PM (we are still in Central America afterall, not much happens on time). I had planned on making my way back to the hotel on a public boat and staying the following two nights as I had booked.

As I was getting ready to leave, I received a voice message from the hotel owner, telling me that as a mother, she didn't think I should try to make the journey back. I took her advice and stayed at a different hotel which she recommended for me, in the main town close to the hospital. She even made the reservation for me and gave me a refund on my final days I had booked at her place. (Even though all my stuff was still there).

I thought I would be able to gather energy to go back the following day to gather my things and pay my tab. But no such luck. Already on day 6 of dengue and still struggling. I shared my challenge with reception (who was still texting me every morning to see how I was feeling) and Esmeralda kindly offered to pack my things and bring them to my new hotel. Absolute angel.

On my way to my new hotel. I must have looked a bit disoriented leaving the hospital. A stranger helped me find a tuk tuk to take me to my next spot. Once we started speaking, turns out she’s not a total stranger. She’s Walter’s cousin and was so glad to see I was doing better.

I still had some belongings of the hotel as well. When I went to the hospital for the second time they sent me with blankets, a soft pillow and tea in a thermos. I gave it to Esmeralda when she came by but she must have forgotten it because I saw it still sitting in the lobby later on.

The next morning, I finally started feeling a bit better. Thank goodness for this because now it's September 15th, Independence Day in Guatemala and it was LOUD. A parade was happening right outside my hotel. At first I felt annoyed by the noise, then I decided to take some life from it. So I sat right up front at a table for breakfast and felt the beat of the drum in my heart and the dance moves wanting to come through my body.

To my delight, I looked up a moment later and Walter was there. What a joy to see a familiar face. He wanted to see how I was doing (and also pick up the hotel belongings). We spent awhile catching up while I had breakfast (just fruit, very slowly). Keep in mind that Walter doesn't speak English and while I was at my worst, my Spanish wasn't what it normally is. So finally, we were able to converse freely and we both shared how scared we felt in those moments of deciding to go to the hospital. He never seemed scared even though he later told me, "I researched dengue and it's worse than I thought ... can be fatal!" Yup, I know.

Beyond the help I was receiving from the team (family) at Villa Sumaya, I had friends from all corners of the world messaging me every day. Telling me I'm not alone. Checking in with every possible update. I'm so incredibly grateful.

Of course my own family was with me every step of the way as well. Listening to how I was feeling, reassuring me and helping with the logistical things that still needed doing like contacting travel insurance.

So even though I only got to experience Lake Atitlan for 2 days before being very sick for 7, I left the country with so much more than I came with. Huge love and appreciation for helpful people. People who went above and beyond to take care of me, a stranger to them, and to make sure I knew I wasn't alone. 

It's amazing to go from entering a country where you know absolutely no one, to feeling like you have family there and people who genuinely care about you, in a matter of days only. There is something truly special about Guatemala and I cannot wait to return to this beautiful place and make new memories.

This may have been a solo travel experience, but I was never alone.